whenever i’m sad i remember i will be alive when woody allen dies
like imagine if you’d never seen a dog and you saw a saint bernard and you were like, what’s that and then someone was like, thats a dog. and then you saw a chihuahua and you were like ok whats that and they were like, that’s a dog. wouldn’t you feel lied to? wouldn’t you sense that something was amiss
lady gaga’s dog is wearing my college tuition around her neck
Watch that dog get robbed real quick.
…can you rob an animal?
If i see it on the street we gone find out.
black licorice isn’t a candy it’s a punishment
i never really liked
until i found out
what it tastes like
when you write it in frosting
on top of a cake